Self-Reflection
Consciousness
Starseed

What I’m offering here today are a few stories that led to thoughts that led to other stories that may or may not fit together in any coherent manner. It is pretty much an echo of my inner and outer reality lately.

On a Saturday morning a couple of weeks ago I was intent upon shifting my focus away from a lot that was going on in my physical and emotional body. It was a gorgeous day, and the large expanse of unusually cloudless sky floated above like an ethereal ocean of bluest blue. The wind was calm. And at 8:30 am, the temperature was still in the 70’s, so I decided to sit outside on my shaded patio for a while. I had fixed a cup of Rishi Blueberry Hibiscus tea with local honey and I brought it out along with a broom and some wet paper towels. I decided to take the opportunity to do some tidying up. I cleaned the glass on the small square table between my two heavy gray wicker chairs with their plush burnt orange cushions, and placed my tea on the glass table. With the broom, I began to sweep the area behind the chairs at the bottom of the wall beneath my living room windows. That’s when everything shifted.

When I pulled the broom to the end of the wall, along with the dust I saw a gray grasshopper about an inch long in the dirt. I thought it was dead. But it wasn’t. Distraught, I watched it and realized that it was hurt. It struggled, then somehow moved itself a small distance into the shade, landing on its back. I felt stunned, unable to think of what to do. I hoped maybe it was okay and would be able to get up. I was a person who carried spiders outside my door. I caught flies with a clear plastic cup and index card and set them free. Tears clouding my vision, I prayed to anyone who might be listening, and very soon what I was being called upon to do became achingly clear.

I went over to the glass table, got the paper napkin beside my tea and carefully picked up the unmoving creature. It lay on its back. I could see its tiny startled face. As I gazed at it, it slowly lifted one of its bent spidery limbs, pointing it toward me as if asking me to put it out of its misery. Now sobbing, I gently folded the napkin in half over it, said a blessing, then put it on the ground near my sandaled foot and did what I believed I had to do. I felt totally bereft.

Sirius Through The Hubble Telescope

In a recent session with an intuitive healer, two Sirian beings showed up as part of my Team for the first time, at least the first time I knew who they were. I could “see” them as Light Beings, feel them close to me, touching my hands. I was asked permission to allow them to administer to me a non-physical homeopathic healing remedy. I felt it as golden light liquid, entering at my crown chakra and slowly flowing down through my throat chakra, my heart chakra, and into my solar plexus where symptoms of constriction have manifested lately, at times making it difficult to take a deep breath. I could feel the comforting elixir lightly swirl around that area, softening some of the tightness I’d been feeling, allowing me to relax into the sensation of release. The love I felt for my Sirian family was overwhelming, causing tears of both happy reunion and deep longing.

And there was another time, sitting quietly in my living room, when I felt the presence of three exquisite female Arcturian beings hovering (is that the right word?) next to each other, the three together spanning the width across the middle of the room. To my inner vision they shimmered in iridescent translucent Light and were as tall as my ten-foot ceiling. I felt no fear, only the most expansive vibrations of love and connection fill my Big Heart.

In the largest sense, we are all from the stars, we are all fractals, individual expressions of Source, All That Is, Pure Consciousness, as is every living being, human or otherwise, in any dimension, on any planet, in any galaxy spanning the vast Multiverse and beyond, which makes us in essence All One. Coming to that understanding, that realization, that level of expansion, however, is not on everyone’s chosen path at this time. And that’s always to be honored.

Knowing what I know about my Self, my Soul, however, does not alter the fact that here, in this physical expression anchored into a physical/emotional body, I have what often feels like difficult terrain to navigate. When you’re on a conscious path of evolution, there are always memories and emotions that come up to be felt and moved through, healed and cleared. And being very sensitive energetically, there are often adjustments I need to make when Earth is at the effect of solar flares, electromagnet shifts, Schumann resonance fluctuations, and planetary alignments which are all contributing to our evolution on a cellular level.

For me, during some of those periods, my nervous system can feel dysregulated, I can feel both fatigued and anxious, or feel symptoms that have no “medical” causation, although it’s always wise to check things out, which I do. Many of these have been called Ascension Symptoms. At this time, there are also periods of intense inner reflection, contemplation, and emotional release, times that for me require a lot of loving focus on self-care. And it is often difficult to write when I’m going through so much on so many levels, especially since once something is put into words it can get locked inside them, and sometimes those who read my words can make them a permanent part of how they see me, instead of just something passing through me that I’ve chosen to share.

In a way, it’s like when, as an adult, you go home to visit family you haven’t seen in a long while, and they almost always see you as the person you were, the one whose actions and words and personality they once knew, and still think you are. They assume you believe the same things, eat the same foods, hold the same views that you once did. They hear what they imagine you would have said in the past. Family often does not let you evolve and grow into someone else, someone who has journeyed very far from where or who she once was. I remember at my father’s funeral, when I saw relatives who I hadn’t seen in ages, they all still called me Shelly, a nickname I had definitively given up when I was twenty-one. Over the decades, they were never able to honor that change.

It's sometimes the same with written words. If I share something difficult, depressing, weird, or maybe even scary that I’m experiencing, that could often be filed away as a point of reference about who I am. In past friendships-of-the-heart, one of the things I asked from my soul sisters was that if I was being my totally falling apart, crashing self, needing an ear and a hug, after the drama passed, would they please always hold me in the highest vision of my True Self, as I will always do for them, and release my aching words, letting them be as wing-ed things lifting back into the ethers from which they came. But it has been rare in this lifetime that I have experienced the gift of being “seen” for the Soul that I am.

With what’s been moving through me lately, I have felt that I’ve lost faith in my strength and courage and love of life. I recently watched one of the few “conscious” podcast interviews I still occasionally tune into on YouTube. On the podcast, the host and one of the two guests were talking about having Sagittarius rising in their astrological charts, and how they shared that fiery spirit, and sense of adventure. It made me think about my own birth chart, which I had had redone a year ago, only for maybe the third time in my life. It’s a strange looking chart. For one thing, I have no Earth in it. It’s taken me much work over the decades to learn how to stay grounded, and connected to Gaia, something very important at this time. I’ve wondered if not having Earth in my birth chart may also be an indication of coming from somewhere else, and having grown up feeling different and misunderstood, and even not in the “right” family.

One of the most difficult issues for me most of my adult life was living in a physical body. Things happened to me that felt unsettling and anxiety producing. And the changes that have been manifesting so quickly these days in my seventy-nine year old physical self, have often been challenging. A few months ago, I remember crying out loud to my Higher Self, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t think I’ve ever lived this long in any previous human lifetime. How do I do this? It was a thought I’d never before had, but it somehow rang true.

As the podcast host and guests talked and joked about the attributes of the fire sign Sagittarius, I could relate, at least I once could. My sun is in Sagittarius with my Moon and Rising in fiery Leo. There were many times in my past when I was able to dig deep and summon all I had in me in order to accomplish things that seemed virtually impossible. And I admit that it took every ounce of courage I could muster to make the move here to Longmont, CO from Asheville NC in November of 2024, when my body was incapacitated from sciatica in my left hip and a fractured upper right arm, and my heart deeply grieving over what Hurricane Helene had left behind in my beloved home of thirty-three years.

But I haven’t felt those more powerful parts of myself since then. And I don’t know how to call them back in order to create the richer life I now want. Too often I feel tired and overwhelmed. I don’t always know who I am or sometimes even where I am. Realities seem to overlap, and time to disappear. Part of this shift in consciousness is learning how to integrate and navigate higher frequencies.

I talk to myself a lot these days, to both the inner Rachelle, to reassure her, but mostly to my Higher Self and Spirit Team. Even though I don’t often “hear” clear answers, in many other ways, I always receive the guidance, connection, and love that I ask for. When it comes to angelic help, however, I have learned a great truth. It is that I have to ask for that help or it cannot be given. Angels will respect our free will. Only by calling upon them, do I give them permission to assist me. This was a revelation.

There are certain Angels, however, who are always with us whether or not we ask for their help. These are our Birth Angels or Guardian Angels. I’m not sure if we have only one or maybe two. They are with us from the moment we come into this world, guiding us and keeping us safe until it is our chosen time to leave this life, and then, too, they are with us all the way. Even though I don’t have to, I always call upon and talk with my Birth Angel whenever I drive around town. It makes me feel better, safer, especially when I’m not in the most centered space.

In coming to a close for these odd scribblings, I will leave you with this. Shortly after I moved to Colorado, I had a channeled session in which I spoke with Anna, the grandmother of beloved Jeshua. I loved talking with her, and at the end of our session, she gave me what she called an Anytime Prayer. It is not in the words I would use, but I find it comforting to recite.

Anytime Prayer

All is well.
I rest deeply in the peace that I am safe in the arms of the Divine Mother/Father/God.
Every experience serves the unfolding of my highest expression.
Only that which serves my supreme truth as a child of the Light finds its way to me.
All is well.